Great Squadron Goggle Five: Episode 1

And here we are, with episode 1. 

Lots of little mistakes here and there that need fixed, but hurr, first time jitters.

A lot of dialogue was either unsubbed (see: Shell-Mozoo's various utterances in fights) or subbed completely wrong (see: Just about any line in the goddamn show.) If I didn't find a Japanese script for Episode 1, I'd have had a much harder time piecing this into something readable.

01: http://www.multiupload.com/DOLUUHE0G0

Script: http://www.mediafire.com/?445541dcmop1ocy
 A NOTE:  Apparently, several links on Multiupload went dead, excluding the most obvious one.
So, Uploadking, Uploadhere, Depositfiles, and Wupload = no good, as far as this episode is concerned.
I'll try to figure out a solution for this.
Check after the jump for some notes and acknowledgement of errors. It's like QC, except more embarassing and after the fact! Brace for wall of text...
(goggle) GO!

        This was literally a 3AM, I-haven't-slept-right-in-days decision. I was sitting around trying to think of a good way to work on my Japanese, and remembered watching these godawful subs with my girlfriend. We both talked about how it could probably do with a better translation someday. I decided "someday" was today, at about 3 in the morning, and set to work downloading the subs and the episode proper, followed by lots of scrubbing, which felt less like "Let's make this readable!" and more like "Let's retranslate the whole thing, using the old subs as the shittiest timing file imaginable!"

Nearly seven hours later, I had a fully subbed video. So, I made it into an MKV, made this blog, hopped on /m/, and posted a link. Then I looked at it. Clearly, my priorities were jumbled somewhere along the lines.

Now, let's look at my errors and translation choices!

First mistake, straight off the bat: "Great Task Force Goggle Five" is in the episode twice, shortly after I realized the name's supposed to be "Great Squadron Goggle Five." Whoopsie. So, that jumps back and forth a few times. I also think there's a "Goggle V" in there somewhere, after I made a conscious decision to use the word "five". Perhaps I'm pushing a little too far on that front. Speaking of the words "Great Squadron Goggle Five", it's really bloody annoying when four kids in a row use the same phrase and I have to try to figure out how to make it less robotic-sounding. I think I'll take the suggestion of "Abbreviate the name every time after the first." Although, they shouldn't need to go recruiting people ever again.

Another mistake, a minor one: The first time the Scientific Empire Deathdark is mentioned, I called it the Scientific Deathdark Empire. A little thing, I know, but I don't want Taboo or Deathgiller pissed at me, they freak me out. Also, at some point, Taboo says "Rise, Desdark!", which is the name used in the original sub file. I guess I missed one...

Now, translation clarifications! Or "Why the hell did they say that?!" I am a firm believer in entertaining you guys instead of doing a 100% direct translation. The writing in this show can be a little stiff (there was *no saving* "What kind of evil science is this?!"), so if I can do something that's a similar meaning but with more entertainment value, I'll go with that.

An example! When Goggle Yellow is playing with his ball, he starts juggling it around saying "Hora! Gocha gocha gocha gocha~!"... which is literally something like "Look at me! (sound effect for mixing), (sound effect for mixing), (sound effect for mixing), (sound effect for mixing)." I chose to render that as "Come on! Let's mix it up!", because "Look here! Gocha gocha gocha gocha~! (Translator's Note: 'Gocha' is the onomatopoeia for 'jumbling' or 'mixing up'.)" doesn't sound like something anybody would say. Plus the Translator's Note kinda jerks you right outta the action. It's not 100% direct, but it's a lot more like rational dialogue.

Another example in the same scene is Goggle Black saying "Midareucha!" while he beats up the mook with his clubs. He's literally saying "Random pounding!", but I went with "Beatin' you like a drum!", because it suits his character while still giving the image of beatin' the hell out of someone with a pair of clubs. Hopefully, these decisions don't yank you guys out of the story too hard.

Now, to go to bed so I can work on episode 2 tomorrow...